GOD Grew Tired of Us

That was when he created dogs


It was an off day

his son was lost in the wilderness

and he couldn’t find a decent grape

let alone turn it into wine.

No rest for the almighty!

Then his old buddy Lucifer

saw himself in a mirror

and suddenly thought

he was Caesar. And there was

some nasty talk about repossession.



So what was GOD to do?



He needed a friend

something that would love him

through the thick and the thin

the good, the bad and the ugly.

He needed good karma

to change the landscape

make the world a softer place.

It required creativity.

And lots of newspaper to soak

up those messy leaks and logs.

And GOD knew that

after listening Oi weh

to that voice crying in the wilderness

it was time to give his nephew

John the Baptist

a companion

someone he could cuddle up with

between those power locust lunches

with the new recruits.

So GOD created dogs

Tall dogs

small dogs

skinny, bald, muscled, hairy, yapping

howling at the moon dogs.

Spirited furry canines that didn’t bite the hand

that feeds them

who would love man and wo-man

no matter what they did.

And GOD relied on wo-man

to speak up and let man know

when he was getting crazy and warlike.

And although she tried to model good behavior

Man did not always listen, so sometimes he was sentenced to go to sleep in the dog house

which wound up being not so bad

because he could always rely on his furry friend

to lick his wounded alter ego

and show him that

he was still redeemable.

And if worse came to worse

his devoted friend would introduce him

to the new female dog

down the street

that’s

had all of her shots!

Alternative Publishing Panel

Saturday, April 16 · 10:30am - 11:30am

Kapolei Public Library

1020 Manawai St. Kapolei, HI

You have written a book but are wondering how to get it published. Join us for a panel discussion by three published local authors as they share with you a variety of different publishing  options you may not be aware of to get your newly finished book off to the presses. They will discuss self-publishing formats, publishers, online options and self-publishing. They will fill you in on the pros and cons of their choices and provide a list ot the publishers and options they discussed.

Easter Island

A single row
of moai statues
stare
from massive ahu platforms
out beyond a cloudless coast
their landscape now
arid and treeless.

They face the sea and wait
for no one in particular.

The old ones have long since passed over
their silence roars like a cannon.

Traces of their language
frame an obscure curtain
as one face cracks
crumbling at the chin.

Tiny shards slowly release
the life-force that plummets
soundlessly
towards the jagged rocks below
taking old knowledge and forgotten history
along for the ride. Hammered and
lost at the bottom
by conflicting views
and swept away at last
by the raging sea.


That culture's most famous features are its enormous stone statues called moai, at least 288 of which once stood upon massive stone platforms called ahu. There are some 250 of these ahu platforms spaced approximately one half mile apart and creating an almost unbroken line around the perimeter of the island.

The Legend of Captain Bly and the Mermaid

Word Bag

(deluxe, rope, weight, lifesaver, broom, gauges, battery, fishnet, tide calendar, cooler)



The Tide Calendar hung lopsided
its edges curled and yellow.
Water flooded the bilge
the relic listed to the port side
barnacles clung steadfast
to the thick rope tightly tied to the dock.
The cabin reeked of mildew
and stale urine. Pitted gauges
balanced haphazardly amid the dust and grime.
In the corner a couple of dead AA batteries rolled over a faded photo
of the vessel and her captain.
A beauty in her prime
she was in desperate need
of a stiff broom, spit and polish.
Rusted cans of off white deluxe deck paint
stood prominently
beneath the starboard seat cushion.
The scarred cabin door
hung on for dear life
like a holocaust survivor.

Captain Bly once a handsome rake
regularly drank
his dinner, his vessel was aptly named
The Heeia Kea Queen after The African Queen.

His cooler was always well stocked
with green bottles.

His weighty reputation had
stretched beyond the confines of the small harbor
and swept throughout the windward coast.

He always wore a black shirt
the collar ripped at the neck
thin against his salty frame.

Often comatose
he dreamt nightly
of snaring a mermaid
in his fishnet.

He was her Lifesaver.

The next day
he would wake in a cold sweat
as she disappeared
into the sea flipping her tail
splashing him with sea foam.

One fateful morning he was gone
that was better than thirty years ago
Some say that the mermaid took him
others say it was them green bottles.

Either way
he finally succumbed to his deeds.

So keep in mind

A full cooler
doesn’t float
as well as a life preserver
even if you are a lifesaver
and unless you have gills
you could wind up sleeping
with the fishes.

****

Leisure

You can do what you like

No strict guidelines to follow

No appointments to keep

Bliss.

~

Do you prefer dark chocolate

Or creamy vanilla

with your strawberries

heaven.

~

Currency has been

converted.

We now take

Room keys.

~

Time stretches

across an undulating

sea,

Anna Karenina rises.

Taking Back Custody

Write a story that is between 100 and 150 words. The trick is you must use the following words: drink - rock - damage - heartless - destiny - cruel - abandon - lost - regret - bastard. Words may be used in different formats (for example: drink, drinking or drank)


It’s a new day
to rock!

Amend some damage.

Make better choices.

Listen up.

Read the signs.
And not fall for the same
old mistakes this time.

Abandon the whine
and regrets
for the heartless bastard
that did you wrong.

Re-write that song.

Outwit the cruel fanatic
that led you astray
paved the way
for your friends who lost
the game of life.

Rewrite your destiny.

Because drinking to get drunk
or getting wasted
to unwind

for you

isn’t cool
it’s a crutch

And you are smarter than that.

So carve a new path

And never
ever
look back!

Rabbit Ears

We ran into

Peter Rabbit

at the Beach

and dared to ask the question

What do you get

when you introduce

two bull mastiffs males

to a fluffy white rabbit?



Wait

For

It





No-- it’s not,

a lucky foot,

Or rabbit stew



Do You Give Up?



These super smart canines know

that with rabbit ears

They can get not only

local network broadcasting

but with any luck

Animal Planet

and The Dog Whisperer.