dark chocolate freak
sometimes friend to a bathroom scale.
I learn
that my obscurity is a good thing
that as I trip and fall
no one will see or care.
I am a notion,
a shadow,
a spot on the frame,
moving past old belief,
sometimes haunted,
driven,
alone.
I learn
that my existence is more
than filling your square pegs
coloring inside your lines
I am seeing
that you will never understand or care.
I deserve to move beyond the mess
I have become.
I have decided to heal myself,
love myself,
protect me at all times.
My eyes are wide open
my ears can hear
the snide careless whispers,
your thoughts when no one is near
I feel your doubt
it is the shroud of past judgments
wrong attitude.
I can taste your fear.
it is an acid that burns inside me
mutilating my mind.
secret places.
I existed before for your praise
as a child of a lesser god
but I am not less.
I am a miracle.
I am more than your dogma.
You do not define me.
I am free to speak
and I don’t have to make up lies
or explain me
because I am a strong woman
and I can do better.
I will not settle for your whims
your trickery
your reckless ways.
I will walk away whole
I will leave this place better
I will win
because I am not a quitter
because I know I can learn
that I will survive
I will thrive
because I deserve
to dream
laugh
love.
I deserve my birthright
to become who I am meant to be
I will be me.