Tuesday, March 22, 2011

GOD Grew Tired of Us

That was when he created dogs

It was an off day

his son was lost in the wilderness

and he couldn’t find a decent grape

let alone turn it into wine.

No rest for the almighty!

Then his old buddy Lucifer

saw himself in a mirror

and suddenly thought

he was Caesar. And there was

some nasty talk about repossession.

So what was GOD to do?

He needed a friend

something that would love him

through the thick and the thin

the good, the bad and the ugly.

He needed good karma

to change the landscape

make the world a softer place.

It required creativity.

And lots of newspaper to soak

up those messy leaks and logs.

And GOD knew that

after listening Oi weh

to that voice crying in the wilderness

it was time to give his nephew

John the Baptist

a companion

someone he could cuddle up with

between those power locust lunches

with the new recruits.

So GOD created dogs

Tall dogs

small dogs

skinny, bald, muscled, hairy, yapping

howling at the moon dogs.

Spirited furry canines that didn’t bite the hand

that feeds them

who would love man and wo-man

no matter what they did.

And GOD relied on wo-man

to speak up and let man know

when he was getting crazy and warlike.

And although she tried to model good behavior

Man did not always listen, so sometimes he was sentenced to go to sleep in the dog house

which wound up being not so bad

because he could always rely on his furry friend

to lick his wounded alter ego

and show him that

he was still redeemable.

And if worse came to worse

his devoted friend would introduce him

to the new female dog

down the street


had all of her shots!

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