Showing posts with label Enablers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Enablers. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Steps To Sanity

My son is still in a program the twelfth or thirteenth— I've lost track. He’s been everywhere from Hina Mauka, a 28 Day short term treatment center on Oahu to the Salvation Army, to Habilitat, a long term residential facility and now Drug Court an outpatient two year state sponsored supervised release program. He’s about two months from graduating—and I’m holding my breath-- because what usually happens is he graduates and then he relapses about a week later. Then it takes the courts about a year to catch him because well-meaning ENABLERS will HELP him by giving him money, a place to sleep, and a  motorcycle to ride around in.  The legal system is burdened—there is an epidemic of drug addicts out there. We are the family of a Meth addict.

Don't get me wrong--my son has a job. He is in a responsible position and in a “relationship” according to his Facebook  status. We are NOT friends on Facebook. I am too embarrassing, too loud for his taste.  I want to share my book Letters to a Prisoner by Connie D. and that makes him uncomfortable—he wants to put all that behind him. He wants to MOVE ON with his life. 
My husband and I have been permanently changed.   GOD or WHOEVER  has left HIS  imprint on us-he’s tapped me on the shoulder, shaken  me, kicked me in the ASS a couple of times and rudely awoken me from my stupor which pretty much sums up the way I used to feel.  My face has premature lines, although I still look pretty according to my husband. Of course his near vision isn’t what it used to be.
Stressed out doesn’t even begin to cover it. It’s been over ten years. And yes, I still have hope. Go figure!
SO, HOW DO YOU SURVIVE—when your whole world is crashing down?
EASY, you start by taking care of YOURSELF.  You understand that there is absolutely NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO CHANGE what THE ADDICT does. TRUST ME on this! It takes TIME to calm down, to snap out of your reverie but there is LOADS of THAT. YES GOD, I’M LISTENING!

** Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened. ~ Winston S. Churchill

Stay tuned for number two……

Friday, October 14, 2011


about the day
when I am a superstar
can only take me so far
and then what?

Will I magically transform
into a superhuman being
save lives
rewire the cosmic hard drive?
How will it change our universe
suck up
expand in a meaningful way?
and to whom
and for what purpose?

Does anyone REALLY know
and see the BIG picture?
There are literally thousands of theories
bombarding us everyday
all around us
it’s amazing
that we
can HEAR
at all.
Anything viable that is
over the concussion
Medical bills
Drug addict superstars
ENABLING doctors
Food borne illnesses
Egos of giant corporations
selling us one last pull
on the MEGA BUCK machine.

Now concentrate
stay with me
This is it!
Don’t waste it
you can almost taste it
on the tip of your tongue
and then…
it’ll be gone.

In the meantime you'll pick yourself up
dust yourself off
and continue to play this amazing game of pretend.
And wait for it...there’s a Barker
with a GIANT MEGAPHONE...directing you to step this way!
let’s pretend
EVERYTHING will all work out
that all of this chaos
is insignificant
and our distant relatives
or GODS if you prefer
from heaven
are just a little late
to pick us up
for our continuing trip
on the way
to our NEW HOME
where everything is
waiting for us
a paradise of epic proportions
and everybody you ever knew
is waiting there for you
to fill you in 
on what you’ve been missing
and they are so glad you came and
the only thing you are sorry about
is that it took you so long to die.

Then they take you
to feed the machine
you know the human eater
that shiny metal object over there
with the teeth.
Yeah—the one with your name on it.
But don’t WORRY
because you won’t feel a thing
because you are already DEAD
NOPE—won’t hurt a bit
Then… you can eat all that ice-cream
and all the artery clogging shit
you’ve ever wanted
but couldn’t have
because of stupid things like high cholesterol
and heart disease.
You know…
because --like
you won’t have a heart anymore.
NOPE…you won’t have a heart
a body
You’ll just be a transparent
ground-up form
floating around in the ether
and shucks
I really hate to burst your bubble
but you know that safe ice-cream
that I was telling you about?
Well that shit ain’t real either
But it… Bitch--SLAP
sure was one
hell of RIDE
wasn’t it?

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