Victoria’s Irresistible's

 Forget Victoria’s Secret

It is December 10^th

and I  am chewing on a homemade cookie

called IRRESISTIBLE

I KID YOU NOT!

I’m chewing and swallowing the yummy goodness

and my mouth

hell, my nose

and my taste-buds

are drunk, in the after fresh baked glow

of granola, organic oats

chocolate chips

dried cranberries

almonds

vanilla

organic cane and brown sugar

and did I mention

chocolate chips?

And butter

organic flour

baking powder

baking soda

and salt so

SCREW

THE DIET

and tomorrow

I’m eating

another damn COOKIE!

Dear Santa- (Explicit)

Can I pick yea brain?

sing yea refrain

catch dat train

to a minty fresh glade

on a fresh escapade

schlepping  wit ju

or OUT on a date

TRY WAIT-- ONE freakin MINUTE

WAT?

Schlepping wit ju?

Sounds like a slur

of either Mexican or Jewish intent

and dat is not what I meant

to say

It’s CHRISTMAS, Okay!

Santa

better check dat list

I think you may’ve MISSED

my name

while I was singing yea refrain

on dat train from Spain

which stays mainly on da plain

and it’s stays RAININ not snowing

which BLOWS big time

when you’re old and cold

and have a fixed income

AND JEESH dose antlers

are making me want to

chain you up and ride you like a horse

but I promised to behave this month, Santa

SHHH, steady!

So the MALL

is DAT WAY

go hop in yea sleigh

and I’m a size six

and I like blue and purple

and gold and shiny tings

hearts and flowers

ivory towers

not chicken wings

or old smelly T-shirts.

BUT after thirty odd years

of blood, sweat and tears

of cradles and vomit

blue moons and comets

I still prefer schlepping and schtupping

and some other stuff

I can’t mention right now

wit ju

OH MY!!!!

Laters, Santa ;)

Your Naughty-Nice Mrs. C

xxxoooo<>xxxoooo