Asses and Elbows

*** Image of Contortionist by hagenrock on photobucket.com


Look Mom, I can stuff
my head plus one elbow, up my ass.
Quick come see, what do
you think of this? Maybe I
could get a job in the circus
you know one of the sideshows?
Say yes, please, pretty please? I promise
to send the extra money home.
What do you mean, what about the dog?
Of course, him too! I’ll make him
part of the act.
He can hold the flashlight!

I Should’ve Had a V-8

Tanka 5-7-5-7-7

Should have stayed in bed

played with the puppies, practiced

Zen meditation

taken stills of three Pacu

gliding through cool clear water.

On the Prowl

 A nonet has nine lines. The first line has nine syllables, the second line eight syllables, the third line seven syllables, etc... until line nine that finishes with just one syllable. It can be on any subject and rhyming is optional.




Sprawled atop the comforter, clever
white whiskered kitten cries and purrs
wrinkles tiny nose at twin
scratches mirror double
meows at smudge when
mouse emerges
game changes
hunter
food.

Roar

Volcano's red howl

excites rare Hawaiian goose,

lava cracks dwelling.



They Don't Bark

His didn’t.
Three months and forty pounds ago
we loaded
our new puppies, two Bull Mastiff brothers
into the
back seat of the car.
Our little bundles of joy
playful, cuddly, lick your face
tail wagging
pistons of power.
Muscle pups
that fly
eat rocks
like tissue paper, and
leap through the air
like they were shot
out of a gun.
Small giants
still growing.
Two heart throbs
tweaking
evocative cords.
That chatter in tongues
that only their mother,
a brawny brindle lass, with pink toenails
that lives in Aiea,
could appreciate.

Meanwhile
Uncle Zeus
his most royal Great Dane highness
has completed the first round
of inspections
and graciously agreed
to teach them the ropes.
So far,
he has taught classes in:

  I.   The Perimeter
 II.   Mapping out the exact corner where the neighbor’s dogs live
III.  How to mark your territory
IV. Where to drink water out of the pond
 V.  I have the bone and you can’t have it
VI.  Midnight Howling

They all got an A
in that last subject.

I am so proud.

Our choir
is a dedicated group.
They practice every
time they hear a siren.
Sometimes they will wail
up to three or four times a night.
In fact they enjoyed Midnight Howling so much
they have already enrolled in the daytime course.
We’re planning on sending them
to the AKC national competition
maybe even hire a handler.
I am curious
about their pedigree though?
This particular trait
must have skipped a generation,
because their
Mom and Dad,
don’t bark.

Blood Sport

I see you over der Zeus.
Did ya eat?
Did ya have a good breakfast?

Oh, Oh

What are THEY eating now?

Apollo, don’t eat that!

What is that?
OMG, He’s eating shit!
NO, Apollo
Ehh, Ehh! Ehh, Ehh!
Don’t EAT THAT!
PEW, talk about ya bad breath!
Drink Water Apollo!
Go rinse ya mouth!

Rocky?
NO, Rocky, Eh ,Eh! Eh, Eh!

Leave that chicken ALONE!

OMG, that feral chicken is in his mouth.

He’s clamped down on it.

Oh shit, the chicken’s ass is gone!

There are feathers everywhere.

I can’t look!

No ZEUS No,
not you too!

Apollo stay!

Zeus!
Rocky!

God, are you watchin this?
I need a break!

Little Monsters

The door slammed,
echoing down the long hall.

 Mom gasped,

Quick,

hide the wrappers,

the cookie monsters are home!

Pacific Golden Plover

Aloha,

Rain Bird flies home to

Alaska.

** Plovers migrate home to Alaska during April-May and are back again August thru October for the winter.

Beach Walk

You got ya walkers and ya talkers.


Oh how cute, are they PUPPIES?


SIBLINGS?


What BREED Are They?

After tha first few minutes and
definately by tha end of our walk
I got tha speech down.

Yeah lady,


Dey’re Bull Mastiff braddahs


five and half months old.


Der well behaved, even tempered and


Yeah, dey’ve bin NEUTERED!

Look at those PAWS!

Yeah Lady
Der gonna be massive!

Only Five Months, Looks like You’ll Have Your Hands Full!

The puppies want ta say hello ta everyone.

Rocky likes ta wade in da surf, gonna catch a big one!

Apollo wants ta inspect everything on da sand,
pick it up
chew on it
and den spit it out. He’s da smart one!

YO—AND dey like ta drink der water outta
a plastic water bottle too.

Some people just walk on by
dey like to look da odda way
not dog people, I guess?

Der walkin- is more important
gotta keep dat heart rate up
or you ain't aerobic.

Won't be able to eat dat
extra donut or MacFlurry
if ya get my drift.

But, like I said
You got ya talkers
And ya walkers

Later!

The Dark Side

Published in Onefourty Fiction!!


http://www.onefortyfiction.com/archives/the-dark-side

Rain Bird Launch Party 2011

Rainy Day

I’m old and cold my body creaks
my posture is inflamed,
I am resigned to be confined
my teeth have been reclaimed,
but I won’t lie, I’d rather die
before I go insane.
***

The yard, a pool
for howling dogs
to paddle in a boat
will rush and swish
reward a fish
for flying over moats.
Oh happy fish
I sure do wish
to eat your white fillet
but I must swish
instead of fish
And so my meal, I feel
will get away, today.

Freelance

I've carved a creative niche
bitter sweet
difficult to deal with
as I saunter down your street.

My verse is clipped
And NO, I’m not a waitress
my heart beats true
my wits, a tender matrix.

I’ll stay for endless hours
to snap a simple view.
I direct my burning lens
to puke a primary hue.

It may affect your estimation
you see I have a reputation
It requires lots of concentration.
MY degree is in DEDICATION
to MY WORK.

You can’t be caught obscene
with dis drama queen.

Yeah my BAD
I mean
my gear is often stuck in
some balls hairy
places
lacking social graces
with dried egg plaster
embedded in our faces.

I’ll frame
you full of life
smug and satisfied
bare-assed naked
soaked
in all your lies.

SNAP DAT!

I am an artistic dish
itching
to generate, maybe palpitate
because I can imagine
you was once a gift, your mama’s boy
her pride and joy
intact, a sap-- JAIL-BAIT
that wouldn’t DREAM of being late
or make me wait
full of phony excuses
foul abuses
to face the boozers
sucking users
that refuses, to make the right choices
to grow, their WIRED VOICES.

WHY?

cause nothing shoots better
than living in your car.

And because I work for da STAR
you know.

Yeah-- I’m Mitch
and one dizzy bitch
what’s it to you?
YOU—standing there solid
in your dirty J. Crew.


And I am an artiste!

Won’t you be my candid shot
and play wit me some more?

Maybe later we can pan and zoom
by the corner candy store.

Because my lens is in your face
so shut the FUCK UP
don't dis me in MY SPACE.


I’ll just keep you AWHILE
What was your name, KYLE?
just turn yea sweet cheeks to da left
And babes, give me a big SMILE!!

Thor’s Hammer--A No-Show!

Thor’s hammer threatens
Kolohe Wahine golf
at Pearl Country Club.

Weather remains dry
forecast updated to cloudy
thunder a no-show.

Five Women golfers
laugh hysterically over
piss poor performance.
 
Saimin and Pepsi
lunch, revives tired bodies
Sun comes into view.

Happy Mother’s Day Mom!

She gets up early
to dress and shower.

Today she will slide
into a comfortable pair
of slacks, large top,
and Reeboks.

She will comb her short white hair
clean her glasses
take another Aleve
as the coffee brews
while she straightens up
before she gets into her car
to drive into town.

It is Sunday.

Today she will earn double time.

Tomorrow she has the day off.

Tomorrow she will celebrate
eat pizza at the mall
with her youngest daughter
the one who remembers to call her every day
the one who drives Dad to the Doctor
and isn’t too busy
or too far away to spend the
afternoon with her Mom.

No Flowers

Send me no flowers


no pretty petals

velvet soft.

Send me no long stemmed

beauties

whose dewy fragrance

waft.

Send me no posies

that require

casual note

if you care.

for they will surely die

their purple blooms

will choke

into a speckled brown despair.

Send instead

a cactus or a weed

that will not wither

or get into a dither

from neglect

that can be left

to survive in a

brown thumbed void

unchecked.

Pleasant Dreams America

                                                               Obama proclaims

Osama bin Laden, dead

pleasant dreams tonight.

The Barber

He looks competent enough


standing there in his white shirt and dark trousers

as he makes slow deliberate steps

in a well worn semi circle

pivoting left and right

his sharp scissors shaping and clipping

carefully clicking along to a favorite tune

as dark mounds pile up on the floor

a shaggy witness to his art.

A trusty comb is well positioned in his back pocket

at the ready, set for its cameo appearance and then placed back

as the razor continues to hum

as he finishes up the Asian man before me

his neck freshly shaved and brushed

as the cologne is dabbed and the smock is removed and shaken.

The black and white checkered floor

quickly surrenders her dark wispy curls

as he turns from the polished chrome

and black leather chair

and announces

the next lucky customer.

It is gripping

like a one act play

and I am in the front row

then he looks at me and smiles repeating the invitation.

I smile back

it’s too late to retreat.

I walk the lonely mile

and surrender my locks

to his sharp shears.

The floor willingly accepts

my sacrifice

and the play continues

with one sold out seat

held over

as the patrons

continue to line up

down the street.

A Wedding Toast

Let us rejoice and speak of love
lift up our glasses and cherish this moment

the day, the hour when two have become one.

Let us witness the beginning of a marvelous union.

Let us revel in the beauty, lift it up,

nourish it, praise it and

protect it.

Let us allow it the freedom to blossom

into a ripening mature love

resulting in contented bundles of joy to celebrate

further broadcasting our hopes and dreams

for a better tomorrow, long life and prosperity.

Here is to the sharing of this splendid occasion and in so doing

we refresh our own vows to one another

in friendship, faith and hope.

Legendary

Hawaiian showers

color

rainbows prism.

-Legendary-

prism rainbows

color

showers Hawaiian.