I stared
at the silent phone
listened for a footstep
beyond the doorknob
that did not move.
Outside, the sun was still up.
I waited and paced,
wearing a track in the hotel carpet.
The luminous clock face on the nightstand flashed 4 a.m.
You left us there, without so much as a see you later.
To wait and wonder
Forsaking us to the dread that overwhelms me now.
The pimply platoon that reappears to march up and down my arms
soldiers marooned with no place to go and nothing but time and fear to kill.
I share this sad night with our twelve-year-old son, an innocent casualty of your private scheme.
Then open and close the shade in the hotel room again.
Noting that it is finally getting dark. It is July
here in Fairbanks, where nothing is fair,
the days are endless, and we wait sleepless
for you to return from your private
birthday celebration.
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