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Showing posts from November, 2011

Mele Kalikimaka 2011

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Here it is December again —Tom and I are still healthy and mobile. Life is good as we continue to maintain our dream home and keep the spackle wet and pliable as we sculpt our aging bodies into rock hard shape.    (I'm doing the face exercises and lifting and stretching my neck part--A,E,I,O,U.)
We have two new additions to the family Rocky and Apollo—that today become one year old.  We are having a party later, inviting all of their cat, and dog friends.  This week Apollo chewed up my brand new business cards, which the FEDEX driver so graciously let him bring back to the house—ALONE!  Imagine, the driver thought Apollo was so well trained he didn’t even bother to honk his horn!  Apollo eagerly ripped open the box and drooled and chewed on each and every card inspecting them for quality and leaving his stamp of approval.  I am so proud doesn’t quite describe it.   Zeus, our most royal Great Dane spends most days sequestered in the garage. He is eight years old now and can only t…

Families and Addiction: Helping Yourself

Success

Success requires critical thinking, math and science.  We are the sum of our parts, the hybrids of our anatomy, habits, and environment. Our reality is the byproduct. Seeing does not believe. Hearing is based upon perspective. Later you will have to regurgitate  the details in blinding color relevant to current generational standards. Rules are meant to be realigned. Improvise experiment and stay focused. Pardon me, but in what dimension do you exist? What is your purpose? Does your kind require validation to behave within certain boundaries? The power of physical attraction is appealing but it conceals the core of your worthiness. Dust off the shavings of your white vibrational alignment. Color your hula hoop red, swivel your sensual self, closer. Keep your priorities straight and for god sakes pull up your pants, your crack isn’t vogue. Intention is only a small fraction of accreditation. You will need to suck it up, fashion a six pack mentality and tuck in that attitude behold e…

Park Bench

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Diagonal Downspout

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What's In A Name?

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What’s in a name you ask? Plenty! I have four reasons to be thankful. My parents were so proud when I came along that they gave me two middle names.  Both sides of the family were represented and equally proud, for I was the eldest grandchild on Dad’s side of the family and on Mom’s side, well, let’s just say we were the ones that moved away and settled in America.
America oozed golden opportunity.  America was where all our dreams would come true, where my parents could escape war torn Germany and start over with a clean slate.  Or so they thought.  It was the late 50’s but America still doled out its judgment to the immigrants and we did not escape unscathed.  I can still remember having to report my address every January to the immigration department. Today I no longer have to do this, I’m a citizen, but back then I was an alien with a green card and a number.
My parents and I flew in on an airplane, so we managed to avoid Ellis Island.  Our first apartment was on the east side …

Wedelia

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conniededona's photostream

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conniededona's photostream on Flickr. Kaneohe Sandbar

New Giveaway

Letters to a Prisoner--7 chances to win!
Deadline January 10, 2012
Change is a GOOD THING!

Congratulations to the Winners of my Book Giveaway!

Congratulations to Griffin Larson and Cassie Coppock!
Thank you for participating in my Letters to a Prisoner by Connie D.
book giveaway on Goodreads.  599 people entered and you won!
Your books are on their way!

I Am A Survivor

I am a Survivor— I started writing because my life experiences compelled me to stand up and speak out. I am glad that it did or I might be in some State Hospital chain smoking and making lion pillows.  I admit I have much to be grateful for. I have my family, my health and I am still young enough to enjoy both.   I learned not to be so accepting of everything that comes along. Now I complain when I am shortchanged.  I speak up when someone cuts in front of me or gives me a withering look when it was really they who weren’t looking.   Today I am less of an airhead. Today you have to show me, have something solid to back up your story. It sure is a different world.   Some things are definitely for the better.  Others are questionable like cell phones and I-pads. The kids of yesterday had to check in with a live person, we had chores, responsibilities, homework.  I can remember when having a piece of chalk and a sidewalk was all that you needed.  Sure we let our hair down, hell we in…

Available Now--Meadow Pause Revisited

Meadow Pause Revisited

https://www.createspace.com/3694690

Coming Soon--Meadow Pause Revisited

Check out my new book preview on Create Space. My latest book Meadow Pause Revisited promises to make you smile.  Makes a great gift!

https://www.createspace.com/pub/community/give.review.do?id=1090522&rewrite=true

Steps to Sanity cont.

The fifth step is Forgiveness Forgiveness is another form of detachment. Addiction is a family disease. There is no getting around it. It’s in our DNA. Although some people think that we are at the mercy of our genes, our environment and our upbringing, I strongly disagree. It is a CHOICE. Sooner or later, no matter how you interpret it; it is time to GROW UP. Addiction is a CHOICE that we make on a daily basis, nothing more and nothing less. But let me ask you, for the sake of argument, if your family had Cancer or Alzheimer’s would you be mad at them? Of course not, you would do everything in your power to be supportive, to make them as comfortable as possible and to show them how much you love them. Addiction is a little trickier though, because of the stigma attached to it.  We love them but our thinking has become distorted and so we end up showing our love in inappropriate and unhealthy ways. Todays’ reminder from Al-Anon’s Courage to Change ©1992 Every time I try to tighten the noose …

Steps to Sanity (from a Survivor)

The fourth step is to BE KIND or as I like to call it, Detaching with LOVE Mr. Spock.
Isn’t that brilliant? So how do I do that?  Read my lips, I am not a Vulcan. This isn’t Star Trek, I actually have feelings, feelings that I can’t just shut off like a water faucet. So HOW am I going to perform this act? The circus left town.

In order to be kind you need to step outside of your feelings for a moment, you need to do just what is askedwithout over analyzing and putting your own smarter point of view over on people. If they need a ride to work and you are already going that way, stop and give them a ride. It’s just keeping it simple. addressing the need and keeping it real. You may not approve of their lifestyle or behavior at the moment but you can still be kind.  You can listen, offer advice when they ask for it, and then you can mind your business and get a life.  


By get a life, I mean invest some time in things that inspire you, things that may have been set aside because you were t…
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Step number three is let go of your FEAR: Again, I know, this is like asking for a miracle.  I can hear what you are thinking because I’m psychic.
But, what if something happens to him/her And I’m Not There? What if he/she needs a ride somewhere? You know important shit like--What will he/she eat? Where—OMG—will he/she sleep-- If I’m NOT THERE?  My son spent plenty of nights sleeping on the beach, under a tree, on a chair, or on the floor of some garage.  And I in all my magical godlike powers was right there with him—WORRYING! Funny in retrospect, that doesn’t sound too godlike does it? You can’t live their lives for them and you shouldn’t even try!  I remember how I was at that age—you couldn’t tell me anything. I had to learn it for myself. What made me think that my child was any different? LETTING GO OF YOUR FEAR will set you free. It will un-stick you, remove the paralysis that threatens to take you down and swallow you like quicksand. I know that when I do something positive in…

Step to Sanity--cont.

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2. The second step is that YOU need to CHANGE YES --YOU and your significant other and the way you relate to YOUR ADDICT. You need to stop and think before you buy them a new car, pay for college, pay for their apartment, groceries. What do you think you are you telling them if you still want to take care of them?  You’re telling them that they can’t take care of themselves. You’re telling them that you don’t have any faith in them, that without YOU they are NOTHING. And I KNOW that that is NOT what you meant! You meant to reward them for accomplishing their goal. You meant it to be a help up—not a hand out. But that isn’t what you are saying, bless your hearts. That is why YOU need to CHANGE. Because even though you mean well, you are the biggest part of the problem.  I went so far as to make friends with the so-called well-adjusted families.  What did they do that we didn’t?  I was on a mission.  Guess what I learned?  They have problems too, only they handle them DIFFERENTLY. My …

Steps To Sanity

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NOVEMBER is CRYSTAL METH AWARENESS MONTH-- My son is still in a program the twelfth or thirteenth— I've lost track. He’s been everywhere from Hina Mauka, a 28 Day short term treatment center on Oahu to the Salvation Army, to Habilitat, a long term residential facility and now Drug Court an outpatient two year state sponsored supervised release program. He’s about two months from graduating—and I’m holding my breath-- because what usually happens is he graduates and then he relapses about a week later. Then it takes the courts about a year to catch him because well-meaning ENABLERS will HELP him by giving him money, a place to sleep, and a  motorcycle to ride around in.  The legal system is burdened—there is an epidemic of drug addicts out there. We are the family of a Meth addict.
Don't get me wrong--my son has a job. He is in a responsible position and in a “relationship” according to his Facebook  status. We are NOT friends on Facebook. I am too embarrassing, too loud for h…