Sunday, November 20, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
New Giveaway
Letters to a Prisoner--7 chances to win!
Deadline January 10, 2012
Deadline January 10, 2012
Change is a GOOD THING!
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Congratulations to the Winners of my Book Giveaway!
Congratulations to Griffin Larson and Cassie Coppock!
Thank you for participating in my Letters to a Prisoner by Connie D.
book giveaway on Goodreads. 599 people entered and you won!
Your books are on their way!
Thank you for participating in my Letters to a Prisoner by Connie D.
book giveaway on Goodreads. 599 people entered and you won!
Your books are on their way!
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
I Am A Survivor
I am a Survivor—
I started writing because my life experiences compelled me
to stand up and speak out. I am glad that it did or I might be in some State
Hospital chain smoking and making lion pillows.
I admit I have much to be grateful for. I have my family, my
health and I am still young enough to enjoy both. I learned not to be so accepting of
everything that comes along. Now I complain when I am shortchanged. I speak up when someone cuts in front of me
or gives me a withering look when it was really they who weren’t looking.
Today I am less of an airhead. Today you have to show me,
have something solid to back up your story.
It sure is a different world. Some things are definitely for the
better. Others are questionable like cell
phones and I-pads. The kids of yesterday had to check in with a live person, we
had chores, responsibilities, homework. I
can remember when having a piece of chalk and a sidewalk was all that you
needed. Sure we let our hair down, hell
we invented it! But at the end of the
day, we washed it and started dinner because Mom was working to supplement the
family income. The family needed her and YOU to be responsible or the shit
would hit the fan and spray all over everything and then YOU would have to
clean it up! Yeah—the good old days!
We still believed in GOD and Government and things you read
in a book. Talk about naïve! We got screwed so often that it felt normal. We
bragged about it too! This country was
the greatest country in the world. Now everybody wants to occupy
everything. I’m glad people are waking
up. I just hope that it isn’t too late
to stop the flood. In the meantime, I
need you to plug this gaping hole with your finger…no just stay here and hold
it I’ll be right back…
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Monday, November 7, 2011
Coming Soon--Meadow Pause Revisited
Check out my new book preview on Create Space. My latest book Meadow Pause Revisited promises to make you smile. Makes a great gift!
https://www.createspace.com/pub/community/give.review.do?id=1090522&rewrite=true
https://www.createspace.com/pub/community/give.review.do?id=1090522&rewrite=true
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Steps to Sanity cont.
The fifth step is Forgiveness
Forgiveness is another form of detachment.
Addiction is a family disease. There is no getting around it. It’s in our DNA. Although some people think that we are at the mercy of our genes, our environment and our upbringing, I strongly disagree. It is a CHOICE. Sooner or later, no matter how you interpret it; it is time to GROW UP.
Addiction is a CHOICE that we make on a daily basis, nothing more and nothing less.
But let me ask you, for the sake of argument, if your family had Cancer or Alzheimer’s would you be mad at them? Of course not, you would do everything in your power to be supportive, to make them as comfortable as possible and to show them how much you love them.
Addiction is a little trickier though, because of the stigma attached to it. We love them but our thinking has become distorted and so we end up showing our love in inappropriate and unhealthy ways.
Todays’ reminder from Al-Anon’s Courage to Change ©1992
Every time I try to tighten the noose of resentment around someone’s neck, I am really choking myself. Today I will practice forgiveness instead.
“You can’t hold a man down without staying down with him.”~ Booker T. Washington
Friday, November 4, 2011
Steps to Sanity (from a Survivor)
The fourth step is to BE KIND or as I like to call it, Detaching with LOVE Mr. Spock.
Isn’t that brilliant? So how do I do that? Read my lips, I am not a Vulcan. This isn’t Star Trek, I actually have feelings, feelings that I can’t just shut off like a water faucet. So HOW am I going to perform this act? The circus left town.
In order to be kind you need to step outside of your feelings for a moment, you need to do just what is askedwithout over analyzing and putting your own smarter point of view over on people. If they need a ride to work and you are already going that way, stop and give them a ride. It’s just keeping it simple. addressing the need and keeping it real. You may not approve of their lifestyle or behavior at the moment but you can still be kind. You can listen, offer advice when they ask for it, and then you can mind your business and get a life.
By get a life, I mean invest some time in things that inspire you, things that may have been set aside because you were too busy with a career or raising a family. After my husband and I retired I took up Golf and learned much more than a game, I learned how to live and become a classy mature woman. I learned to take my experiences and make them count for something. I learned that I had something worth sharing outside of those dark meeting rooms. Al-Anon is great when life is too overwhelming, I recommend it in the beginning but if you are still there after thirty years and you’re not a sponsor, you are still stuck. You, my friend, need to get a life.
From Al-Anon’s Courage to Change © 1992
Today’s reminder Nov. 4
I no longer have to depend on any one person or situation (meeting) to get on with my day. Today I have choices.
"Consider the little mouse, how sagacious an animal it is which never entrusts his life to one hole only." ~ Plautus
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Step number three is let go of your FEAR:
Again, I know, this is like asking for a miracle. I can hear what you are thinking because I’m psychic.
But, what if something happens to him/her And I’m Not There? What if he/she needs a ride somewhere? You know important shit like--What will he/she eat? Where—OMG—will he/she sleep-- If I’m NOT THERE? My son spent plenty of nights sleeping on the beach, under a tree, on a chair, or on the floor of some garage. And I in all my magical godlike powers was right there with him—WORRYING! Funny in retrospect, that doesn’t sound too godlike does it?
You can’t live their lives for them and you shouldn’t even try! I remember how I was at that age—you couldn’t tell me anything. I had to learn it for myself. What made me think that my child was any different?
LETTING GO OF YOUR FEAR will set you free. It will un-stick you, remove the paralysis that threatens to take you down and swallow you like quicksand.
I know that when I do something positive instead of worrying, like going to a meeting, for a walk, taking a yoga class, or volunteering, will help. Taking that first step, finding people in the same situation as yourself, and getting out there will take you out of your self-imposed isolation. It will restore you to sanity.
My take—on Al-Anon’s Courage to Change © 1992
I am proud of the fact that I am a survivor. I've experienced many struggles in order to arrive exactly where I am today. Today I know that I am much MORE than my troubles. I am a human being with dignity. I have a wealth of knowledge that I can share with others who are going through similar difficulties. I needn’t FEAR the challenges of the future. I know that I am a stronger person as a result of what I have been through. I am ready to pass it forward.
“When it gets dark enough, you can see the stars.”~ Charles A. Beard
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Step to Sanity--cont.
2. The second step is that YOU need to CHANGE
YES --YOU and your significant other and the way you relate
to YOUR ADDICT. You need to stop and think before you buy them a new car, pay
for college, pay for their apartment, groceries. What do you think you are you
telling them if you still want to take care of them? You’re telling them that they can’t take care
of themselves. You’re telling them that you don’t have any faith in them, that
without YOU they are NOTHING. And I KNOW that that is NOT what you meant!
You meant to reward them for accomplishing their goal. You
meant it to be a help up—not a hand out. But that isn’t what you are saying, bless
your hearts. That is why YOU need to CHANGE. Because even though you mean well,
you are the biggest part of the problem. I went so far as to make friends with the
so-called well-adjusted families. What
did they do that we didn’t? I was on a
mission. Guess what I learned? They have problems too, only they handle them
DIFFERENTLY. My husband used to say, be like Mr. Spock from Star Trek, BE
LOGICAL. But I’m getting ahead of
myself.
In order to change you need to read or better still listen
to WHO MOVED MY CHEESE by Spenser Johnson MD.
Well……
My paraphrase from an old copy of Courage to Change-Al-Anon
Family Groups © 1992
November 1
Todays’ reminder
Sometimes I have to let go of a problem before I can find a
solution. My thoughts racing inside my
head may be too noisy to hear my inner voice or the guidance it is
offering. Quieting the noise is a skill
I can learn with practice. In Al-Anon
practice makes progress, one minute, one thought at a time.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Steps To Sanity
NOVEMBER is CRYSTAL METH AWARENESS MONTH--
My son is still in a program the twelfth or thirteenth— I've lost track. He’s been everywhere from Hina Mauka, a 28 Day short term treatment center on Oahu to the Salvation Army, to Habilitat, a long term residential facility and now Drug Court an outpatient two year state sponsored supervised release program. He’s about two months from graduating—and I’m holding my breath-- because what usually happens is he graduates and then he relapses about a week later. Then it takes the courts about a year to catch him because well-meaning ENABLERS will HELP him by giving him money, a place to sleep, and a motorcycle to ride around in. The legal system is burdened—there is an epidemic of drug addicts out there. We are the family of a Meth addict.
Don't get me wrong--my son has a job. He is in a responsible position and in a “relationship” according to his Facebook status. We are NOT friends on Facebook. I am too embarrassing, too loud for his taste. I want to share my book Letters to a Prisoner by Connie D. and that makes him uncomfortable—he wants to put all that behind him. He wants to MOVE ON with his life.
My husband and I have been permanently changed. GOD or WHOEVER has left HIS imprint on us-he’s tapped me on the shoulder, shaken me, kicked me in the ASS a couple of times and rudely awoken me from my stupor which pretty much sums up the way I used to feel. My face has premature lines, although I still look pretty according to my husband. Of course his near vision isn’t what it used to be.
Stressed out doesn’t even begin to cover it. It’s been over ten years. And yes, I still have hope. Go figure!
SO, HOW DO YOU SURVIVE—when your whole world is crashing down?
EASY, you start by taking care of YOURSELF. You understand that there is absolutely NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO CHANGE what THE ADDICT does. TRUST ME on this! It takes TIME to calm down, to snap out of your reverie but there is LOADS of THAT. YES GOD, I’M LISTENING!
** Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened. ~ Winston S. Churchill
Monday, October 31, 2011
Happy Halloween
Punch in
punch out the freak
that glares from a dark niche
crimson canines bared tongue trickling
verbose.
Verbose
morose fat toad
bluster soaked dripping cad
is quite mad drops now from rafter
crawls on
Crawls on
past old paint flakes
reflecting on dinner
in the old clapboard haunted house
spider.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Book Giveaway
Enter to win your FREE COPY of Letters to a Prisoner! Deadline November 10-2011
http://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/show/14648-letters-to-a-prisoner
http://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/show/14648-letters-to-a-prisoner
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Frenzy
I stuffed them all down
like a good little girl
urged to swallow her medicine.
Raw red meat
in a
black and white
world.
Tender tongues
twisted and ripped-out
like an old rubber band.
As their groans
splashed crimson
across my
reckoning
distracted by my next meal
as a mad ghoul
lunges past me, down
this dark corridor.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Movement
I’m moving
on
past
the old
boundaries of
I do not do
that
I don’t
think I can
I’m too old and
I’m afraid.
I’m plotting
a new course
steering
clear of old distractions
three steps
forward
two back
taking the
time
to listen
and learn.
Pressing on
because I MUST
and sidetracked
because
I hunger for
what is comfortable
choosing
safety
quelling my passion.
AND yet, I
thirst
to make a
difference
to leave my
mark
to plant a
seed, my seed
in the wild
weed-ridden
misconstrued
fields.
Hoping to
turn wildflowers
into diamond
pink petals and
lavender lined
gardens
into a redolent
harvest
of hybrid
teas.
My arms open
willing to absorb
the risk
stir in a
bit of pain, discomfort.
I step up
into judgment
reaching out
past the wise ones
the kupuna who
have led me up to this place
the highest,
most precious peaks
in the shadow
of the Koolau
spreading their velvet-green robes
beyond
my
self-imposed
self-absorbed limits
crowning present
possibilities
seated upon this
pivotal throne.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Friday, October 14, 2011
Dreaming
Dreaming about the day when I am a superstar can only take me so far and then what? Will I magically transform into a superhuman being save lives inspire rewire the cosmic hard drive? How will it change our universe reflect refract belch suck up expand in a meaningful way? and to whom and for what purpose? Does anyone REALLY know and see the BIG picture?
There are literally thousands of theories bombarding us everyday electrons protons atoms smashing splitting all around us it’s amazing that we can HEAR decipher anything at all. Anything viable that is over the concussion percussion discussion Maalox Taxes Medical bills Unemployment Drug addict superstars ENABLING doctors Food borne illnesses Egos of giant corporations selling us one last pull on the MEGA BUCK machine. Now concentrate stay with me This is it! Don’t waste it you can almost taste it on the tip of your tongue and then… it’ll be gone. In the meantime you'll pick yourself up dust yourself off and continue to play this amazing game of pretend. And wait for it...there’s a Barker with a GIANT MEGAPHONE...directing you to step this way!
Okay--class let’s pretend EVERYTHING will all work out that all of this chaos is insignificant and our distant relatives or GODS if you prefer from heaven are just a little late to pick us up for our continuing trip on the way to our NEW HOME where everything is waiting for us pristine a paradise of epic proportions and everybody you ever knew is waiting there for you to fill you in
on what you’ve been missing and they are so glad you came and the only thing you are sorry about is that it took you so long to die. Then they take you to feed the machine you know the human eater that shiny metal object over there with the teeth. Yeah—the one with your name on it. But don’t WORRY because you won’t feel a thing because you are already DEAD NOPE—won’t hurt a bit AND THEN… Then… you can eat all that ice-cream and all the artery clogging shit you’ve ever wanted but couldn’t have because of stupid things like high cholesterol and heart disease. You know… because --like you won’t have a heart anymore. NOPE…you won’t have a heart a body limbs Or a BRAIN.
You’ll just be a transparent ground-up form floating around in the ether and shucks I really hate to burst your bubble but you know that safe ice-cream that I was telling you about? Well that shit ain’t real either But it… Bitch--SLAP sure was one hell of RIDE wasn’t it?
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