Passport’s Language Guides--Italian for Beginners

Learning a Language is a lot easier and more fun than you think.

Buon giorno, come ti chiami? (What is your name?)
Connie, e tu? (Connie and you?)

Tonight’s lesson will be
translated
in a gondola on a Venetian canal.

Ionithermie at the Spa on Holland America Line

The forecast says fair weather blue skies.
It’s Friday, another beautiful day at sea.
I’m on the spa phone talking to my husband
and signalling Vittorio, my spa attendant,
to please get me an Evian—
Dear, you should see him leering?
I swear all they do is flirt.
I’m early for my appointment, papers to fill out.
They want to know if I’ve ever had a hot rocks treatment
it is the latest in their line of relaxation treatments.
Yes I know I took the tour!
They also have teeth whitening.

I ask, Cassie, my clinician, about something
I’ve seen in the brochure
I noticed something here
about detoxification and cellulite reduction,
what’s that all about?

Oh it’s non-invasive!
We use electricity
at a low voltage
and we steadily increase it to detox
your cells
thereby breaking down
your fat cells and
reducing the appearance of cellulite.

First you have to take off everything.
we supply you with paper panties.
Then we slather you with mineral treatment
and finally we attach the electrodes.
You feel tiny shocks on the designated areas.
The treatment lasts for about twenty minutes
and requires you come back two more times.

How do you know how many watts to use?
It's as much as you can take.
We guarantee at least a four inch
combined fat reduction
from your hips, stomach and thighs.
Okay sign me up for the works.

Hello dear,
Yes I’ve signed up
for the electric shock treatment,
only they call it something else
Ionithermie.
What’s that?
Oh thanks dear,
he said, Good Luck!

The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls

The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls
A remarkable memoir of
resilience and redemption

A diamond
formed from
the blackest coal.

An Inspired Christmas Tree

It
stands tall
in the corner of my
garage all decked out
for Christmas, with hooks and
different colored skirts hanging from
its fake branches. Mr. Blue Marlin swims
at the top, sticking his nose up,
avoiding the tempting banquet
all around him. Not
today, Captain
says he, not
today!

Cruising to Serenity

I spent the better part of today
decorating.
Christmas is coming
two weeks sooner.
My husband is designing
something unique
so up the artificial tree went
a canvas ready for his artistry.
I love his enthusiasm
the way he dives into a new project
and I figured while I was at it
I might as well put up my Christmas village too
and create something of my own.
It was a nice diversion
took my mind into a new direction.

The hours sailed by
and my cruise ship
took me to a place I hadn’t
been to in a long time.
The food was fresh
the hot tub a piping 102
the treadmill hummed
the lounge comfortable out on the deck
as I listened to my favorite music

in today’s port of call—Carefree.

Tonight the tempurpedic mattress beckons
although there isn’t a chocolate mint on my pillow
I grin at my reflection and gaze at tomorrow’s
schedule. Lunch with my writing friends
at another favorite port
tonight we sail to Serenity.

On A Mission

The news trickles in
calls, from Outer islands,
Skypes from Saipan
and the Mainland

What’s next—Oprah?

Get that white woman,
she will be our Mom beacon
careful don’t look directly at her
her message is strong.
It will change the way you look
at addiction.
It will shake loose the lies
and deception that we’ve been fed.
We’ll put her on our network
between Judge Judy and The Doctors.
The families will get their wake-up call
soon enough.
Quick get the warden on the line
I think I have the angle we need.

Acceptance

We met

on level ground
and saw that we were
the same
that we had always
been that way
and that it was okay
I reached out my hand and
you accepted it.
You accepted it
knowing that this
leg of the journey
was just beginning.

Thunderous applause
from men and women
who needed a leg up
who got lost on the way
to their day job.

Took a left
and got stuck in quicksand
trying to understand the reasons

why she could and they couldn’t.

Listening intently and then
asking the tough questions
as if she were their Mom
looking for that common bond
finding instead their old selves
that could still relate to the world
still had some wonder left
that wanted more
and weren’t afraid to go after it.

Who was that person
who shined?

I liked her.

She exuded confidence
and she wasn’t afraid to
show her flaws

now that’s real strength.

She was as transparent
as glass
evoked tears
from calloused hearts
and struck solid gold
on their hit
parade.

Testing 123

Test, Test
Can you hear me—okay we’re good!
The practice is done
The speech written
The DVD recorded and previewed by the Habilitat staff
All systems are a go
No butterflies
No regrets
we are in control!
well maybe one regret
I wanted my jumpy jay
to be here.

To be successful in his own right
to stand tall and proud next to me and declare
that the battle was over, the fire demon slain
he had finally won, was ready to give back.

But unfortunately that bird  flew the coop
A long time ago
And there is no going backwards
Only forward
I have to take care of me first

Like it says on the airline emergency card
When the oxygen masks come down
Put it on yourself first and secure it firmly
then put it on your child

What do you do with a child
that won’t listen
when he’s all grown up
and doesn’t even trust in himself

let alone trust you.

What do you do when he
questions your judgment
doesn’t trust that you
have his best interests at heart?

You let him go.

You let him go
and hope that someday
he comes back
gets back in the boat
because he loves you
and you love him,
only right now he is still lost
and still looking
for dry land
and help in all the wrong places.

What do you do?

You let him go
and you pray
that he makes it on his own.

That he makes
the right choices
that he knows what he is doing
because it is his life
after all

And maybe
just maybe
you’re the ones
who need to trust
in him.

November’s Spawn

November’s spawn
came in like a wet blanket
shed its care on my doorstep.

It forewarned
sad times were coming

I saw that it was heavy
that I should not try to lift it alone
and I am ready this time
resigned to the fact
that we are alone.

We will face this together
and move on

that is how we began our journey
that is how we will continue
until long after the winter
washes all our dirty laundry
clean and
hangs it out
to dry.

Alien Trial

They live among us

now as in the past
scores of them

left behind

frantic for a new beginning
their former lives forgotten
bolting back with ancient gods
through key magnetic fields
back to distant planets.

Their offspring
surfacing throughout history
providing us with the missing link
explaining the giants and the freaks.

A controlled experiment
that started with the
small-brained ape.

Also scattered behind
other-worldly signs
strategically erected
to discern and ponder
giant markers
blocking the night sky
and ancient air strips
drawing the way
back home.

Explaining Normal to an Alien

What’s normal Earthling


Where does it live
Is it under that rock
Does it crawl on four legs
Or walk upright
Play with fire
Take risks
Does it have to have a Mercedes
Sleep in the nude

Remember what it did
what it ate for dinner

Does normal worry

Does normal have meaning
Or does it just exist

Does normal get disappointed
Is normal creative
Does normal laugh

Does it ever fly off the edge

Self destruct
Have hot flashes
Sleep all night

Is my normal the same as yours
Does normal have to grow up
listen
Can normal hide
Does normal even exist
Is normal a choice

Can normal be warm and fuzzy
Smile a lot
Laugh at bad jokes
Soak up its fair share of Vitamin D
Drink alcohol and
Do drugs in moderation

Enjoy Sex

Dig its toes
deep into the sand
Eat organic vegetables
Wilted lettuce
know how to balance a checkbook
pay its bills on time
keep it's word

Have hobbies
Like hiking, running
Swimming
Bicycling
Boogey boarding

Stay busy
Volunteer

Eat pasta and pizza
Love dessert
Know GOD
Need to be heard
Require help and understanding
Is normal fickle

Well, Mr. Alien
Sometimes
if all the stars are aligned
and the earth's magnetic forces are fully charged
and the Moon is in Venus
and if you close your eyes and pray really really hard
and you gotta believe or it won't work then either
because those demons will get you if you're not careful
and you have to have lots of help from lots of  friends
then  
Normal
Makes goals
Practices
Asks for help
Sticks with it
when it gets hard.
Because normal
Knows that life is short.
And LOL
Normal knows it is
a dying breed
and that no matter
how you choose to dissect it
normal requires
water, food, friends,
a steady supply of oxygen
and low stress levels
in order to thrive.

Outliers

***A synopsis of “Outliers” –The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell

Outliers

excites

dares

penetrates your psyche

with its high IQ

eliminates the bull

propels you past Jupiter

challenges

everything

you know

and believe.

Outliers

questions

who you are

when you were born

where you live

how smart you are

why you succeeded

when others failed

the innate qualities

that reside within all of us

and then dares you to

exceed your

present

expectations.

Jazz Raz Ma Taz-Suki Sue and Slicky Dicky

Rat atat tum

slicky dicky come
clicking down the street
two hot bodies meet
snappy tappy dance
dark side dey prance
yolk running white
slinky slapping dyke

who gonna say

who gotta pay

rubber lips dey smack
boozer heart she whack
wet on yer nickel
jerk, jack be fickle
jazz raz ma taz
Suki Sue pizazz.

Underground Edinburgh

Ghoulish den of death

Edinburgh’s catacombs

preyed upon the poor.

Dependence

Dependence

weaves its fibers deep.

It watches
as you begin to falter
ready to pounce like a cat.
It scratches deep
leaves scars
that itch
a reminder of
the hold that it has.

You the hostage
it the toxin
your body craves.
It the venom
you lust after.

It the alien
tearing into your flesh
inserting a
humming metal diode
plugged in to your
nervous system
frequency ready.

Halloween

Hark
All Hallows Eve draws near
Lining up the livestock for slaughter for winter stores was
Linked to the ancient festival of Samhain. A time when
Otherworld borders were thin allowing both spirits good and evil in.
Warded off by guising on this
Elemental Autumn
Evening to celebrate the Celtic
New Year.

Vote--acrostic

Valuable
Opportunity
To initiate positive change
Elect your candidate today

Paul the Octopus

World Cup guesser dies
Paul the famous octopus
leaves aquarium.


From The Australian:"The world's most famous octopus, the underwater Nostradamus, the eight-armed cephalopod prophet of the football pitch, has died in his German aquarium.
The good news, foul play is not suspected."

Am I Crazy OR E.T.--Phone Home!

Am I crazy?

I have this feeling

I can’t seem to shake today

Maybe it’s because my bulova watch

didn’t come back. Only the parts

I needed, a new crystal and a battery

plus shipping.

I’m waiting for

Rod Serling

to call me

or Scotty to beam me up.

Captain there seems to be

a problem with the transporter

mechanism.

Kind of like Mr. Spock

playing chess

with a single

cell amoeba.

Meanwhile the Klingons

would be coughing up

greenish red snot tearing up

from laughing so hard.

Vowing like the terminator

to soon be back

before they

warped, factor 7 to the next galaxy

where the takeover would at least be a challenge for their intellect.

Red

Red
excites
unites
disturbs
unnerves
won’t apologize
and flashes hot before your eyes.

Doesn’t ask permission
or advice
persuades
demands
will do as it pleases
flirts and
lies
then strip teases
leaving you broke
red in the face
without remorse, a sore disgrace.

Wham bam
bleeds in the pan
surrenders juice
from the vine
to unwind
on the sand
getting tanned
wraps your wrist
in a twist
trails cut glass
sub atomic mass
finger pricks
smacking lips
autumn leaves
scarlet weaves
crimson blush
Cardinal crush.