Thursday, December 13, 2012

Victoria’s Irresistible's



 Forget Victoria’s Secret
It is December 10th
and I  am chewing on a homemade cookie
called IRRESISTIBLE
I KID YOU NOT!
I’m chewing and swallowing the yummy goodness
and my mouth
hell, my nose
and my taste-buds
are drunk, in the after fresh baked glow
of granola, organic oats
chocolate chips
dried cranberries
almonds
vanilla
organic cane and brown sugar
and did I mention
chocolate chips?
And butter
organic flour
baking powder
baking soda
and salt so
SCREW
THE DIET
and tomorrow
I’m eating
another damn COOKIE!

Dear Santa- (Explicit)



Can I pick yea brain?
sing yea refrain
catch dat train
to a minty fresh glade
on a fresh escapade
schlepping  wit ju
or OUT on a date

TRY WAIT-- ONE freakin MINUTE
WAT?

Schlepping wit ju?

Sounds like a slur
of either Mexican or Jewish intent
and dat is not what I meant
to say
It’s CHRISTMAS, Okay!

Santa
better check dat list
I think you may’ve MISSED
my name
while I was singing yea refrain
on dat train from Spain
which stays mainly on da plain
and it’s stays RAININ not snowing
which BLOWS big time
when you’re old and cold
and have a fixed income

AND JEESH dose antlers
are making me want to
chain you up and ride you like a horse
but I promised to behave this month, Santa
SHHH, steady!

So the MALL
is DAT WAY
go hop in yea sleigh
and I’m a size six
and I like blue and purple
and gold and shiny tings
hearts and flowers
ivory towers
not chicken wings
or old smelly T-shirts.

BUT after thirty odd years
of blood, sweat and tears
of cradles and vomit
blue moons and comets
I still prefer schlepping and schtupping
and some other stuff
I can’t mention right now
wit ju
OH MY!!!!

Laters, Santa ;)
Your Naughty-Nice Mrs. C
xxxoooo<>xxxoooo

Friday, November 23, 2012

Thanksgiving 2012

Thanksgiving in my family is
diced giblets floating in buttered broth, celery, and cubed bread stuffing
Tom turkey stuffed and trussed and baked to tender perfection
It’s crackly skin oozing juice
It’s peeled boiled and mashed potatoes
seasoned gravy made from pan drippings,
crunchy french-fried onions atop green beans,
swimming in mushroom soup, marshmallow streaked yams
chilled cranberry sauce
Ted’s chocolate cream and Safeway’s cherry pie,
its delicate chocolate hazelnut crème filled pirouette wafers,
orange sherbet, lactose-free vanilla ice cream with hot fudge.
Its Sparkling cider, vanilla macadamia, and chocolate raspberry coffee
Earl Grey and orange spice teas
So EAT like there’s no tomorrow, and then
put the fork down and eat some tums
Because Thanksgiving is a time to be together with family and friends,
It is a time to give thanks
to celebrate and reconnect
pull out the cell phone and CALL relatives
neighbors
the friend you were mad at
It is a time to remember those who are less fortunate
to pardon the unpardonable, to set aside differences
to come together and share the joy and the bounty of the harvest.
Thanksgiving my dears is a time
to reset priorities
it is a time to plan, store up for the winter
to move ahead
to watch the parade
the game
smoke that pipe
swallow that pride
to be fully present in this chapter that is your life.
TODAY, NOW
before the sun sets
the moon rises
the tide turns
the next tidal wave
disaster hits or some
motherless zombie comes to feast on your thigh bone
so be thankful for what you have
and remember to clean your plate
 People are starving in China, Africa, and India.
 people are dying in wars
people who have given their LIVES
So that we can eat turkey, put up lights and shop at the Mall.
so enjoy your Thanksgiving and be thankful, because we have much still
 to be grateful for.

©Cornelia Connie D. DeDona 11/22/12

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