Thursday, December 13, 2012

Dear Santa- (Explicit)



Can I pick yea brain?
sing yea refrain
catch dat train
to a minty fresh glade
on a fresh escapade
schlepping  wit ju
or OUT on a date

TRY WAIT-- ONE freakin MINUTE
WAT?

Schlepping wit ju?

Sounds like a slur
of either Mexican or Jewish intent
and dat is not what I meant
to say
It’s CHRISTMAS, Okay!

Santa
better check dat list
I think you may’ve MISSED
my name
while I was singing yea refrain
on dat train from Spain
which stays mainly on da plain
and it’s stays RAININ not snowing
which BLOWS big time
when you’re old and cold
and have a fixed income

AND JEESH dose antlers
are making me want to
chain you up and ride you like a horse
but I promised to behave this month, Santa
SHHH, steady!

So the MALL
is DAT WAY
go hop in yea sleigh
and I’m a size six
and I like blue and purple
and gold and shiny tings
hearts and flowers
ivory towers
not chicken wings
or old smelly T-shirts.

BUT after thirty odd years
of blood, sweat and tears
of cradles and vomit
blue moons and comets
I still prefer schlepping and schtupping
and some other stuff
I can’t mention right now
wit ju
OH MY!!!!

Laters, Santa ;)
Your Naughty-Nice Mrs. C
xxxoooo<>xxxoooo

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