Becoming Me

I am the half full cup
dark chocolate freak
sometimes friend to a bathroom scale.

I learn
that my obscurity is a good thing
that as I trip and fall
no one will see or care.

I am a notion,
a shadow,
a spot on the frame,

moving past old belief,
sometimes haunted,
driven,

alone.

I learn
that my existence is more
than filling your square pegs
coloring inside your lines
I am seeing
that you will never understand or care.

I deserve to move beyond the mess
I have become.

I have decided to heal myself,
love myself,
protect me at all times.
My eyes are wide open
my ears can hear
the snide careless whispers,
your thoughts when no one is near

I feel your doubt
it is the shroud of past judgments
wrong attitude.
I can taste your fear.
it is an acid that burns inside me
mutilating my mind.
secret places.

I existed before for your praise
as a child of a lesser god
but I am not less.
I am a miracle.
I am more than your dogma.
You do not define me.
I am free to speak
and I don’t have to make up lies
or explain me
because I am a strong woman
and I can do better.
I will not settle for your whims
your trickery
your reckless ways.


I will walk away whole
I will leave this place better
I will win
because I am not a quitter
because I know I can learn
that I will survive
I will thrive
because I deserve
to dream
laugh
love.

I deserve my birthright
to become who I am meant to be
I will be me.

Sky Top

Pasta Italiana

http://www.blurb.com/b/3697761-pasta-italiana


 
   

 

Ko'olau Tears

Volcanic cliffs emerge from the mist
exposing
lush slopes
a sow with her squeakers
nursing
under a thick emerald canopy.

Tropical tears

pelt the 'aina
saturating
vine-laden limbs
spilling into streams of sticky sap
fields of yellow fruit.

Breathing new life into
the wrinkled pores
of the ancient banyan
as the Kolea wade through muddy puddles.

The goddess invoking the mana cleansing remains
cutting offensive passages,
conjuring a rainbow.

I am home.

...


"In Polynesian culture, mana is a spiritual quality considered to have supernatural origin—a sacred impersonal force existing in the universe. Therefore, to have mana is to have influence and authority, and efficacy—the power to perform in a given situation."

Autumn in Peters Kill

New York Botanical Garden 1

Where Is The Biggest Garbage Dump On Earth?

The Pacific Garbage Patch

should scare the hell out of you.

Originating somewhere in between Hawaii and California
it is one of seven garbage islands
spread across the world’s oceans
funneled and trapped by planetary rotation
converging ocean currents and wind, garbage that impacts all of us, garbage that can hitchhike to other parts of the globe.
Imagine barnacles attaching to floating garbage
not found in your area, infecting our native species.

 Plastic washing up on Hawaiian beaches
growing wider, thicker and more toxic every day. Containing billions of plastic pellets called nurdles commingling with phytoplankton,
mistaken for fish eggs and krill.

Plastic Confetti choking whales
seabirds
and other animals.

Toxic plastic lasting 500 years into our future
causing hormone disruption, and most likely cancer, consumed up the food chain
by fish and ultimately humans.


Clean up is too costly.
The answer is to control the amount of plastic we produce.
Recycle
Limit consumption.
What will you do?

American Lady Butterfly on Coreopsis

Spirit Mana

I hear them whisper
in the gentle trade winds
in the grunt of the wild
boar, the high-pitched mating call of the coqui.


I see them
in the blood moon
the double rainbow
in the mist against the folding
emerald cliffs of the Ko'olau.

I taste them
in the freshly caught pan fried mahi-mahi
a tropical papaya
tangy mango.

I smell them in
the white gardenia
the orange blossoms
the plumeria I place behind my ear.

I feel them buzzing
my ankles
scurrying sideways in the white sand
between the sharp coral
in the gentle rain.

They watch as I wait for you to return safely.

They watch the dogs chase
after wild chickens
the koi feed on fat
mosquitos.
The bullfrogs sing.

They watch

They accept.

They smile.

They are here with me

the ‘Aumakua, guardian ancestors

rooted in the past, the first of their generations.

Duck Pond

Gertude's Nose, September 2015

Three Monkeys

At a recent Word Cafe

pictures passed around the room are

designed to rouse our inner writer

briefly displaced

during the heady pursuit

of summer activities.

The picture I received

depicted three monkeys cutting hair.

I imagined myself in the barber’s chair

the lucky recipient of said haircut

and may I add fully conscious, trusting and completely insane.

Wary to See

Hear and

Speak No EVIL

about these darling monkeys, because I  like monkeys.

Also, being very superstitious

I have learned

from my past

not to let the unlicensed

whether human or monkey

anywhere near my delicate scalp.

Yeah, I let them cut my fucking hair.

However, suffering as I do from chronic stupidity

a condition passed down to me

from that anonymous side of the family

I tend to forget

life’s little lessons.

Consequently, my existence is a series of 50 first dates

and crooked bangs

each day beginning with

familiar strangers and events.

Each day rife with frustrations

such as

What was the Name of that Movie

that Author, and more to the point

Who the Fuck Am I

and Why Should You Care.

Ah, the writer’s life

hunting and pecking for the perfect juxtaposition

of meaning and metaphor.  In search of the highly distracted,

I want, I want, I want, audience,

the vulgar pay for a million hours of sweat, blood and bodily excrement.

I’m no movie star

nor am I a scientist

or even Georgio from Ancient Aliens

who sometimes looks, like a monkey

or an alien, with outrageous hair.

As Georgio says

it could be possible

that these monkeys

are the missing links

and really exceptional hairdressers.

I have to admit

it is plausible

but I am willing to risk being wrong.

After all

I have only one

token head of hair to give.

In the meantime 

I will try to maintain a positive outlook

so as to appear normal

to my loyal Friends and Facebook followers.

Since both of them

would be swayed

were it not for  my personal sacrifice,

the dedicated followers that they are,

they two might be tempted

to let monkeys cut their hair.

Self Publishing Advice

http://www.selfpublishingadvice.org/how-to-use-createspace-and-ingram-spark-together/

Giant's Workshop

Giant's Workshop