Showing posts with label Xmas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Xmas. Show all posts

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Victoria’s Irresistible's



 Forget Victoria’s Secret
It is December 10th
and I  am chewing on a homemade cookie
called IRRESISTIBLE
I KID YOU NOT!
I’m chewing and swallowing the yummy goodness
and my mouth
hell, my nose
and my taste-buds
are drunk, in the after fresh baked glow
of granola, organic oats
chocolate chips
dried cranberries
almonds
vanilla
organic cane and brown sugar
and did I mention
chocolate chips?
And butter
organic flour
baking powder
baking soda
and salt so
SCREW
THE DIET
and tomorrow
I’m eating
another damn COOKIE!

Dear Santa- (Explicit)



Can I pick yea brain?
sing yea refrain
catch dat train
to a minty fresh glade
on a fresh escapade
schlepping  wit ju
or OUT on a date

TRY WAIT-- ONE freakin MINUTE
WAT?

Schlepping wit ju?

Sounds like a slur
of either Mexican or Jewish intent
and dat is not what I meant
to say
It’s CHRISTMAS, Okay!

Santa
better check dat list
I think you may’ve MISSED
my name
while I was singing yea refrain
on dat train from Spain
which stays mainly on da plain
and it’s stays RAININ not snowing
which BLOWS big time
when you’re old and cold
and have a fixed income

AND JEESH dose antlers
are making me want to
chain you up and ride you like a horse
but I promised to behave this month, Santa
SHHH, steady!

So the MALL
is DAT WAY
go hop in yea sleigh
and I’m a size six
and I like blue and purple
and gold and shiny tings
hearts and flowers
ivory towers
not chicken wings
or old smelly T-shirts.

BUT after thirty odd years
of blood, sweat and tears
of cradles and vomit
blue moons and comets
I still prefer schlepping and schtupping
and some other stuff
I can’t mention right now
wit ju
OH MY!!!!

Laters, Santa ;)
Your Naughty-Nice Mrs. C
xxxoooo<>xxxoooo

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