Best Laid Plans


My dream for you today is that…
peace is the result of your thoughts and feelings.  You are the source of joyous action. ~ Unknown

Best Laid Plans

Hello, I am calling to confirm
that there is going to be a slam tonight?
The name is under Shithead
that’s right, S- H- I-T- H- E- A- D
I’m planning to perform tonight.
I’ve invited ALL MY FRIENDS.
Three of which are accomplished poets and authors
including me that comes to about-- eight people
Yes, I’ll wait.

What?
You say the place is closed?
Locked up tighter than a virgin
at the Playboy mansion?
Didn’t I get the memo?
NO--was there a memo?
Okay then
I guess I’m canceling
yeah-- that makes nine of us.
No-don’t bother
putting me on your phantom poet email list.
I’ve decided to hang up my fedora.
I’m starting
a new vocation.
That’s right!
From now on
I’ll be taking my opinions
and videoing them
on You-tube.
Then I’m going to sign up for belly dancing
with Willow Chang.
Look for me in next month’s Zen-dance video
it’ll be shown at the Arts at Mark’s garage
in Chinatown. What’s that?

Of course, I’m not serious.

I’m heading over right now
to get a $10.00 Reading
at the Louis Pohl Art Gallery
pick up a dream card and
some pointers on achieving inner peace
educate my assumptions
reassess my choices and then
I’ll fold them gently
put them in a pan
stick them into the oven
and then bake them into a humble pie. 
Further safeguarding my sisters’ fundamental rights,
promoting self-tolerance through dialogue
thereby eliminating foot in mouth discrimination,
while respecting our cultural diversity
and freedom of religion and expression
encouraging the protection of our good nature and Zen environment.

But I’ll be back
the first Friday after the next First Thursday
where my friends and I
are going to kick some bitchin ASS.

Peace and shalom—my sisters!

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