No Labels

Flexitarian

Pescatarian

Vegetarian

call it whatever you want

I Don’t Eat Meat!

I woke up the other day

thinking I knew

WHAT I was.

I was wrong.

I got an education in

the many types of vegetarianism

It is more complicated than I thought

apparently I’m NOT ONE

nope-- none of the above.

I actually thought I might be a Pescatarian

for half a minute

but I’m NOT that either

Sound frustrating?

All I know for certain is

that I don’t have any health problems

bleeding hemorrhoids

indigestion

or weight gain.

I exercise

I take my vitamins and

occasionally when the dust bunnies

threaten mutiny

I even vacuum.

I love Netflix

and frozen juice bars

peanut M&M’s

banana smoothies

salads, stuffed Portobello mushrooms

kale

and macaroni—of any kind

Actually I could live on the stuff.

Tofu is okay

Soy or bust

beans and peas and lentils

and curry and tacos and salsa

and fish and eggs and cheese

and ice-cream

gotta have that!

Life wouldn’t be worth living

without my ice-cream

and dark chocolate.

So WHAT I am-- is not even

close to a vegetarian

nope not at all

I just don’t eat meat.

I don’t color

inside no stinking lines

neither.

So call me whatever you want

I’ll still be blessed

with the right combination of

genes

locale and

skills.

Go roll that

in your

Űber hoity toity degree

and smoke it!