No Labels




Flexitarian
Pescatarian
Vegetarian
call it whatever you want
I Don’t Eat Meat!

I woke up the other day
thinking I knew
WHAT I was.
I was wrong.
I got an education in
the many types of vegetarianism
It is more complicated than I thought
apparently I’m NOT ONE
nope-- none of the above.
I actually thought I might be a Pescatarian
for half a minute
but I’m NOT that either
Sound frustrating?
All I know for certain is
that I don’t have any health problems
bleeding hemorrhoids
indigestion
or weight gain.
I exercise
I take my vitamins and
occasionally when the dust bunnies
threaten mutiny
I even vacuum.

I love Netflix
and frozen juice bars
peanut M&M’s
banana smoothies
salads, stuffed Portobello mushrooms
kale
and macaroni—of any kind
Actually I could live on the stuff.
Tofu is okay
Soy or bust
beans and peas and lentils
and curry and tacos and salsa
and fish and eggs and cheese
and ice-cream
gotta have that!
Life wouldn’t be worth living
without my ice-cream
and dark chocolate.

So WHAT I am-- is not even
close to a vegetarian
nope not at all
I just don’t eat meat.
I don’t color
inside no stinking lines
neither.

So call me whatever you want
I’ll still be blessed
with the right combination of
genes
locale and
skills.
Go roll that
in your
┼░ber hoity toity degree
and smoke it! 

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